Saving Grace
by BlondieBear
Summary: Carly decides to leave Sonny and Port Charles behind to start a new life...will Sonny be able to stay away? (Takes place in early Spring 2000)
1. Chapter One

Chapter One  
  
Tears streamed down her face as she collapsed in the elevator at Harborview Towers, her whole body shaking, her purse clutched tightly to her stomach. She couldn't think in a straight line. Her mind spun in small circles around the central fact; he thought she was trash. How could she have been so stupid? He didn't want her, he never had. And yet...  
  
"Sonny!" She said aloud and began to cry harder. She had let him go so he could get on with his life, she had no right to be angry. It wasn't logical, far from it, but this discovery...Sonny with his arms around that girl...seemed a betrayal of her. The thought of Liz turned shock and sorrow to rage in a moment. She viciously brushed the wetness from her cheeks.  
  
The elevator doors opened and Carly rose to her feet, stepping into the lobby as she rifled through her purse for a handkerchief.  
  
Damn him! How dare he? She had half expected, half-feared it. But to be with HER - that spiteful, self-righteous, sneaky little bitch...but he didn't know that about her, why should he?  
  
"Well, he should have known! Damn him to hell, how could he...well he's at it why not just shack up with Robin too!!!" The tears were once again rolling heedlessly down her face, hot spurts of loss and fury.  
  
"Ahhhhh!" She screamed in frustration. She looked around for a way to relieve her anger, her eyes lighting on a vase in the corner. She grabbed the antique and hurled it at the closing elevator doors. It crashed into them in an explosion of splinters.  
  
She stood in the middle of the lobby, listening. It was quiet. No one was coming to see what had made the crash. The guards were probably too concerned with soothing that little twit to worry about her.  
  
She stood looking at the broken pieces lying on the marble floor, memories flooding her mind...   
  
She had stopped him from self-destructing that night last summer. He had stopped her from destroying herself more than once. She had thought it was because he cared for her...she had seen it in his eyes. Or at least, she thought she had. What a fool I was! His opinion of her had never changed...he thought she was trash then and he thought the same thing now...despite the baby, despite the connection they had forged, despite everything...nothing had changed.  
  
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The Brownstone  
  
"Leticia!!" Carly yelled as she came through the front door.  
  
"Yes, Miss Benson. What is it? Did you talk to Mr. Corinthos? What did he..." She trailed off as she saw the state Carly was in. Her eyes were unfocussed and unseeing, her entire face was red and puffy from her tears, her hair tumbled about her shoulders in disarray and her entire body was shaking.  
  
I have to get out of here. That was the only half-coherent thought in her head and she clung to it. She had to leave. She couldn't move back in to the Penthouse, not after Sonny and...HER. Liz belonged in his home, as the other angelic beauties before her had...I don't. She looked around at her elegant surroundings...trash doesn't belong here either. She knew what she had to do.  
  
Her eyes focused on Leticia. "I need your help."  
  
------  
  
She was ready, as ready as she would ever be. She paused looking around one last time, then heard footsteps coming down the back stairs. She knew without looking that it was Bobbie - and that she wasn't anxious to see her. Fine, she didn't want to see her either. It was better just to leave at once, without speaking. After all, what more was there to say that hadn't already been said?  
  
Carly lifted Michael into her arms and walked toward the waiting cab, closing the front door softly behind them.  
  
Bobbie walked into the living room expecting to see Carly sprawled on the couch with magazines and toys littered around her. Instead the room was spotless and empty. Well, I'm glad to see the ingrate finally cleaned up.  
  
"Carly!" She yelled up the stairs. "Get down here, we need to talk!" Her voice echoed through the large home, then nothing. "Carly?" Bobbie climbed the stairs to her daughter's bedroom...she's probably still asleep. "Carly, this still isn't going to work...you cleaned up but that doesn't change things. For crying out loud, it's one in the afternoon. Don't you think you should..." Bobbie trailed off as she opened the door to find the room empty as well. The bed was made, the floor was free of clothing...it was as if no one had ever lived there.  
  
Bobbie was about to leave when she noticed an envelope on the wooden dresser. She walked closer and picked it up. It said simply, Momma.  
  
"Oh Carly...no." 


	2. Chapter Two

Okay, for the sake of the story…I am changing a few facts!!! Things in the story have basically happened like they did with a few small exceptions…so don't get your knickers in a knot if something doesn't seem to fit with GH history!  I have also re-written bits of the argument from Tuesday…just seemed to fit better this way…Enjoy!! Chapter Two The Penthouse 

He hadn't moved since Carly had stormed out in tears.  He vaguely remembered Liz leaving but he had no recollection of how much time had actually passed by.  He just kept playing the scene over and over in his head…it was etched, word for word into his memory.  

He pictured her face, her eyes filling with tears, as he had hurled insult after insult at her.  Her final words rang in his head…he had driven her to say them of course but he couldn't help but think there was some truth to them.  He had pushed and pushed, trying to destroy any vestige of a connection that had remained between them.  The best defense is a good offence…he had heard that somewhere.  

Well, he had succeeded admirably…in ten minutes he had managed to destroy his last chance at a real family.  His bitter laughter echoed throughout the penthouse, just one more reminder of how empty his home felt without Carly and Michael.

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock at the door.

"Go away!!" Sonny bellowed in response to a knock at his door.  Where the hell was Johnny?  He had specifically instructed his guard not to let anyone bother him tonight.

"Sonny?" called a tentative voice from behind the door.  "It's Bobbie…I need to speak to you!  It's important…please let me in."

Sonny stared straight ahead, making no move to rise from his position on the couch.

"Please Sonny…"

With a sigh, he hauled himself up and shuffled over to the door.  _This better not be about Roy!_

"Listen Bobbie, this isn't the best time right now…maybe you could come back tomorrow."  It was a statement not a question and, without even bothering to look at her, he closed the door.

"Sonny!! Listen to me.  Carly's gone.  I got home from the hospital today and there was no sign of her or Michael except…oh!"  She gasped as the door swung open with such force that it nearly fell off the hinges.

"What do you mean "gone"?  She's probably just out shopping or at the park." 

"That's what I thought…but Sonny," she paused as she searched for something in her purse, "all of their clothes were gone and the place was spotless.  I found this too," she said as she produced a small white envelope.

"Why do you care anyway…I thought you wanted her out?"  He glared at her, as he reached over and grabbed the envelope.

She continued, ignoring his comment, "It was sitting on her dresser.  I don't know what to make of it, do you?"

He unfolded the letter and began to read…

_Dear Momma, _

_I am taking you up on your advice and leaving here while I have the courage to do it.  _

_I know when you told me I should leave, you meant moving back in with Sonny but I can't do that, Momma, I just can't.  I can't and I won't settle for anything less than what I deserve (keep the snide comments to yourself, Momma). He doesn't love me, not like I want him too.  Maybe I don't deserve it…maybe I do but either way I want the whole package…someone to love me, someone to have a family with, someone who will love me not despite what I am but because of it.  _

_I thought that person was Sonny.  I thought we had a real future together until I overheard him on the Island.  That was why I left him, Momma, not because I was trying to hurt him or manipulate him, I left him because…for once in my life…I wanted to do right by someone…he deserved more than to be shackled to a woman he doesn't love for the rest of his life because he feels obligated to take care of her and her kid.  _

_You kept pushing me back to him though, and I really thought that maybe we could work something out.  I went to the Penthouse today to ask him if we could move back in but I never got the chance.  He's already moved on to bigger and better things!  Sorry, that was my hurt showing through…I t was my own fault, I overreacted and started a fight.  It was a good thing I did though because I found out the truth.  He hates me…plain and simple.  He thinks I'm trash and somehow I don't think he'd be caught dead within two blocks of me now.  I know what you're thinking, once again I managed to f*** up a relationship but believe me when I say that's the last thing I meant to do. _

_ I…I care…no, that's not right…I love Sonny, Momma, more than I was willing to admit to myself.  I can't stand by and watch as he lives his life fully and happily without me, it hurts too much._

_So I've decided to make a clean, fresh start somewhere else… somewhere where I can begin again, without my mistakes coming back to haunt me._

_No matter what you may think of me, Momma, I love you and I'm thankful for finding you and getting a chance to know you.  I know we haven't always seen eye to eye…in fact, we didn't agree most of the time but that didn't matter, you know?  Thank you for being my mother._

Caroline 

She had scratched out Benson and instead written Spencer. 

_P.S.  Don't worry about us…we'll get by._


	3. Chapter Three

Thank you to everyone who has replied so far...you have been more than generous to my first time Fanfic!!! I have to say I could get used to this...your replies are great motivation (LOL) 

Chapter Three Niagara Falls 

It had been late morning when Carly and Michael had left Port Charles on the first bus out of town.  They rode for most of the day; just going where the bus took them for Carly had no clear destination in mind.  They got off just as the sun was setting and Carly checked them into a Holiday Inn, which she had chosen only because of it's close proximity to the bus station.  She put Michael to bed right away and crawled in beside him hoping that sleep would come quickly.

It was hunger that brought her unwillingly back to life the next day.  They had not paused for food the day before; save to grab Michael a sandwich, so by morning Carly's stomach had begun to register loud protests.  

After breakfast, they returned to their room and Carly decided to read Michael his favorite book, hoping it would ease the transition to his new surroundings.  Within minutes Michael, still exhausted from their journey the day before, fell fast asleep in her lap.

As the silence drifted over her…so too did the feelings of sadness and grief.   Since she had moved into the Penthouse, she had brought Sonny nothing but herself.  She had been nothing but herself with him, she had opened her soul to him as well as her body, and after a while had trusted him to see her whole and cherish her frailties.  She had feared opening up like that but for those few perfect days, she thought it had been worth it.

Weeks Earlier – The Island 

_"Oh God, Sonny" Carly gasped as they fell back together on the lounge, her head falling naturally to rest on his chest._

_There was no response from her partner, save the gentle sigh of his breathing.  After a moment, though, she felt a sort of subterranean vibration, which she could only interpret as amusement.  She raised her head and looked at him with her eyebrow raised in question._

_He chuckled softly, "Not quite Carly, but thank you for thinking so highly of me."_

_"Ha!" Carly retorted as she smacked him on the chest with her fist.  "For a good Catholic boy, you sure have a sinfully huge ego! I was here to, you know?"_

_"Believe me…I know," he whispered in a raspy tone as he brushed her hair away from her eyes and pulled her into a tighter embrace, each movement sending shivers down her spine.  They remained that way for some time.  Not talking, not making love, just breathing the same air and enjoying the feel of their arms around one another._

_"Sonny," Carly said at last, running her hand across his chest. "I don't think I've ever felt quite so…" she trailed off as she searched for the right words to explain the incredible feelings she was experiencing._

_He rolled on his side, shifting his weight so as not to hurt her, and lifted himself so that they were face to face.  "Me neither," he said, leaning in to place a lingering kiss on her lips, which were still tingling from their earlier lovemaking.  "It's not just the sex, is it?" _

_He drew back a little, his dark, passionate eyes looking down at her.  "No," she said, reaching out to pull him back to her.  "It isn't…but…"_

_He smiled down at her, his eyes flashing wickedly in the dark night, "But…it doesn't hurt, right?"  His dimples flashed as he leaned in for another searing kiss, "Well Miss Benson…care to try again?"_

The tears slid once more, hot and wet down her cheeks, as she mourned for what they had had and for what she had become, with him.

He had said he needed her because of what they had shared, the hopes they had, the loss,_ he understood how I felt and he understood me._  It was the first time in her life that Carly had felt truly needed.  As she stared out the window to the street below, she knew she would never feel it again.

A car backfiring across the street snapped her out of her reverie.  She shook her head as if the action would rid her of all thoughts of Sonny.  She had to move on, she knew that much.  It was the only possible way to prove to herself that she wasn't what he had said she was…

"Well, Mr. Man," Carly whispered to Michael who was sleeping peacefully in her lap, "I don't think there's any way around it, your Momma's gonna have to get a job."

Being careful not to wake her son, Carly opened the newspaper she had purchased earlier and turned to the want ads.  _This shouldn't be too difficult…there must be plenty of people out there just waiting with bated breath to hire someone with absolutely NO experience._  Tears began to fill her eyes once more as her determination began to fail her again.  Maybe she had done the wrong thing, there way no way she could really do this, she should have stayed in Port Charles.  _For what_? a voice shouted bitterly in her head.

"For WHAT?" she asked the empty room.

Michael squirmed in her lap, bringing her back to reality once more.  She looked down at her son, so peaceful and innocent in his slumber.  Carly gathered him close in her arms, placing a kiss on his forehead to comfort and calm him.

"Everything's gonna be okay, Michael, your Momma promises she'll do anything to make sure of that."  Glancing back down at the ads in front of her, she sighed and resigned herself to the tedious task ahead.

The Penthouse 

Sonny stared down at the letter in front of him…his face a mask concealing his emotions.  He stood for several minutes just reading and re-reading the letter.

His mind was racing a mile a minute.  _Slow down, concentrate_.He had to find her…and soon.  Had she meant what she said in the letter?  Could he afford not to believe what was right in front of him, what had been right in front of him from the beginning?

"DAMMIT Carly!" he shouted, startling Bobbie, "why did you have to start running again?"


End file.
